In a random post on Facebook, I wrote the words that I was feeling at the moment...
I will always have room at my table for one more guest, room in my heart for one more friend, room in my house for one more child. Love, for certain, is infinite. You can always make more.
And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this statement, these simple little words, are completely what motivate me in my everyday life. They are my credo, the thing that keeps me going.
I want a full table all the time. I want a full heart all the time. I want a full house all the time. And despite my shortcomings, despite my challenges, I know that I want more children.
People give me a lot of "but"s. BUT you're a single mom without a man to help you. BUT you live on a librarian's salary that only goes so far. BUT you're blind as a bat and can't drive a car. BUT, BUT, BUT....
And my response is this...BUT there are people in my world who need to be fed. There are people in my world who need a friend. There are children in my world who need to be loved. And I am more than willing to comply. They may get mac n' cheese rather than filet mignon. They may get a friend who has kids attached to her and a lot of noise and chaos. They may have to take free swimming lessons at the Brigham Center and apply for scholarships when it's time for college. BUT they will also be loved unconditionally. They will always be safe and fed, valued for every single thing that they bring to this world, and forgiven for anything they don't. They will always have laughter and love and nice warm sweaters.
I realized today how much I like my life, how happy I am that I am who I am. I have many, many flaws and shortcomings. BUT I like that I thrive in spite of them. And I like that I've never accepted limitations on what I can do and who I can love. If I have my wish and my dreams come true....My table will always be full, my heart will always be open, and house will be teaming with friends and family and as many children as I can possibly provide a good life to.
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:-) !!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love your motto...I feel the same way. i am an only child and I have always hated my house being so plain and boring. I also went to friends houses with lots going on..I love it...and they are all my extended family..bring on the commotion!
ReplyDeleteand I am ready to adopt again...I am not sure where in the world we will get the $, but I have to go, and if we adopted 3 or 4 more it would do my heart good..You can do it!
ReplyDeleteI know I've been on FB too long cuz I was looking for the "like" button to click! I love your way of thinking!
ReplyDeleteHi SM, I read what you recently posted on RQ. We are at the position of trying to reconcile our desire for 'one more' with our financial and physical realities. It is hard.
ReplyDeleteI think SG looks so gorgeous in her First Communion dress! (Hope I got that right!) Any more pictures????
RB
Wow. This was one of the most beautifully written blog posts I have ever seen. It is exactly, exactly how I feel about my home, my family. Our situations are different, but I think we feel the same way. And you phrased it so very beautifully. Perfectly said. Can I copy and post this onto my blog, giving you a link and credit of course? If not I understand - it is very personal. It just sums up the most beautiful feelings so well!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Leah Sweet